Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
