Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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