Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
