everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
