I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
3pm strippers are depressing
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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