Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
