you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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