yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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