Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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