Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
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i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
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I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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