remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
