Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize