you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize