My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
