Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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