i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize