drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
