I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
