And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
