I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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