I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
