Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
