The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
