i used baking grease as lip gloss
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
