I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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