your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize