I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
