CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Randomize
