If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize