I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
