waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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