as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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