We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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