i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
that's an acceptable place to lick
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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