3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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