im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
