I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
