I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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