There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
