talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
