Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
