Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Enjoy the penises
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
