I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
