my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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