i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i dont even know how to be here
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
