Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
