Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
