Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
