So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
