You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
