The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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