my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
