My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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