i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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