Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
