There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i barfeds in our rink
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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