her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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