Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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