I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
