i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
