I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
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5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
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The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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